A R I A D N E / / K A P S A L I
If you’re like me, you are usually really motivated by this time of year and enjoy the thrill of new beginnings. I really thrive on releasing old stuff and making space for the new. If you have been to any of my workshops and Bliss Sessions, I always somehow manage to weave in a little cleansing of the soul and opening up to the unknown. So I always love setting new intentions at the beginning of each new year; it really helps to prioritise, to see clearly and to focus my energy on what is important.
This new year however has been different. Those of you that receive my newsletter (if you don’t, you can add yourself here) you will know that man and I adopted a little puppy at the beginning of December. The adjustment has been a massive climb for all 3 of us and I won’t lie to you, it’s been really challenging. The hard days are thankfully mostly behind us as Skye has now settled and grown into a wonderful, clever little cutie and teaching us patience, resilience and surrender on a whole new level in the process.
What this has meant though is I’ve had no time to dedicate to doing my end of year processing and releasing rituals and I have most certainly not had the headspace to explore what I am working towards over the next 12 months. (Those of you who are not familiar with what it means to raise a puppy in the city, without a garden, consider we initially had to take her out 8 times per day because her bladder is so small and she cannot hold it in!!!). I started the year and noticed I was wishing time away because I wanted Skye to grow up to a more manageable stage. It has taken me the space of the last 2-3 weeks to step away from this mindset and start adapting to my new routine.
With this stepping back came the realisation that, for now, I won’t be able to have the same independence and freedom I had pre-puppy. Initially that was super hard to accept, especially because it was our decision to get a dog, but with time I am learning to embrace this change. I now have to do things in a much more condensed and focused manner, kind of like small immersions into each project. Things don’t get done if I don’t plan them, simply because the day unfolds so quickly and it can easily just be about walking and training Skye. It is why I have not been so great at getting back to people, I have missed emails and calls and deadlines. It is a great lesson in self preservation, setting limits to what I can do, clear communication with others and asking for help without placing blame.
So in the limited time I have had to reflect on all of this, I have drawn some conclusions about what I am being called to learn with all of this. I am planning another post on this topic, so I won’t go into it now, but I will share with you my decision to set some commitments. I have realised that I am not going to get the full day of planning my year and setting new intentions which I luxuriously gifted myself last year. That’s ok. What I needed is the mental space to process and to consider where I need to be, right now, and what I know for sure is that I am being called to step up in 3 ways:
- Honouring my edge and saying no
- Bonding even deeper with my gut instinct
- Simplifying and streamlining on all areas of my life
The only one I feel really warrants an explanation here is the first one: My edge. The truth is I have tuned this part of my personality down, especially in terms of my business. My friends, family and some of my long term students and clients know that I have an edge; I can be quite cynical and straight-forward in my communication and as it can sometimes be mistaken for a harsh approach, I have purposefully resisted letting that side of me out as much. But I miss it and I want to make more space for it to co-exist harmoniously not only in my personal life but also in the way I do my work. I am sick of the bullshit around here. I have seen and read the same fluff so many times and I am also partial to playing the fluff game, in an effort to fit in and to offer what everyone else is offering. When I look at other coaches and yoga teachers, I want to feel I’m offering something of value, so I’ve fallen into the comparison trap many a times. The result has been speaking in generic terms, reciting the same old advice and not really speaking from the heart. Although I have never been inauthentic, I also know I have dialled down my edge, because I’ve been afraid it will be misinterpreted. So this year I’ve decided to put an end to this and to honour my edge! Expect even more real communication, more fun and some matter-of-fact posts around here.
I would really love to hear from you – what are you committing to this new year?