A R I A D N E / / K A P S A L I

How to raise the bar on self love and femininity

How to raise the bar on self love and femininity

My top practices to raise the bar on self love and femininity

It’s been a full on month for me so far. Lots of new projects, teaching new classes and starting up with new coaching clients has made me feel so happy and in the zone that all I’ve been focusing on is work. It’s paired pretty well with my cycle as I’ve been in my most productive and creative couple of weeks, so it’s been easier to go with the busyness of the beginning of the month

However the more I explore my habits and patterns, the more I get to know how my moods fluctuate and the more I understand the importance of keeping a non-negotiable tab on self care routines. I have honestly fluctuated on whether we should strive for set morning routines as there have been phases where my mornings have been so lush because of me sticking to my self care practices. However, I have not always been able to sustain the routine and also I found that what I crave changes with time and depending on what’s going in my life. Especially now that I teach a lot of early morning classes, it’s not been feasible to add another set routine for my mornings. I love my sleep and as such, I have decided to prioritise that over keeping to a routine.

Saying that, I know that I still do certain things in the morning or at some point in my day that ensure I keep myself aligned with my intentions. Especially when you work with people in any capacity (a coach, teacher, manager, customer service roles, leader of some kind, etc) you really need to keep yourself plugged in to a constant flow of self love practices.

To add to this, what has really changed the game for me was to re-connect to my feminine side. I have learned to operate with a very male energy, especially in business, because I was taught this is how “to get things done”. Ticking things off lists, long days, push-push-push. But it’s not sustainable for me to work in this way always and I also don’t produce my best work either. To honour the other side of me, the yin side if you’d like, I have to respect the rhythms of my body and mind. Tuning into more feminine practices ensures that not only I feel more balanced and more at ease with myself, but I also can harness my creativity, my intuition and my authenticity in the best ways possible.

To get you started, I thought I’d share some really simple and easy practices for self love and femininity.

Try them out and tell me what you think.


  1. Accompany your to-do list with a ‘how I want to feel’ list: Much more than simple doing things, life (and work) is about how we feel. The things we do, we ultimately choose because they make us feel a certain way. So apart from your to-do list, write down 2-3 emotions that you’d like to cultivate in your day. Pop them on a post it or write them on your diary and return to them as often as possible during your day. Choose what you do based on those emotions. For example, if you want to feel spacious on Tuesday, maybe say no to catching with that friend after work and give yourself the evening off.
  2. Aromatic dressing ritual: Once a week, usually on a Sunday, I like to create a beautifully crafted blend of organic coconut oil and a few drops of my favourite essential oils after my shower or bath. My current blend for femininity is clary sage, geranium and lavender. Take 10ml of coconut oil (or another base oil you like) mix in a total of 5-6 drops of your chosen essential oils and take your time to slowly massage your whole body with the blend, while sending your body love. Bring in a gentle smile as you do this and take your time to go through each part in circular motion up towards the heart. The oils not only make your skin super soft, they also have an impact on your mood aromatically.
  3. Draw a weekly oracle card for guidance: On Sunday evening or Monday morning (if your mornings are not rush-rush) take a few minutes to still yourself, close your eyes and ask for guidance for the week ahead before drawing one card from your favourite deck. Put in on your desk or your mirror as a visual reminder for your week. If you’re a little sceptical of the value of oracle cards, you can think of it as an additional perspective or further inspiration. The cards can simply act as reminders and it’s really your interpretation of the card that counts. You don’t even have to believe in angels, goddesses or other strange creatures to benefit from this practice; you can get beautiful decks with affirmations or inspirational quotes if you prefer.
  4. Walk to places: Walking is one of my favourite ways to clear my mind and to get some space from everything. I am an intermittent cyclist (not on rainy days), but sometimes, especially on those weeks when my schedule is packed, I allocate extra time to walk somewhere rather than take the bus or the bike. Walking ensures you get active and it means you’re more likely to pay attention to nature around you plugging you with the earth. You’ll need to keep your phone in your bag so you give yourself at least 15-20 minutes of freedom.
  5. Track your cycle: I use an app called Natural Cycles which is paid and comes with a thermometer, but I know there are great free apps too (like Clue). I’ve been using it for almost a year now and it’s really helped me to connect to my cycle. I find it really empowering to be aware of what phase in my cycle I’m at, tracking my mood, energy levels, physical symptoms. Once you track for a few months you can start to pick up patterns and plan your activities (social, work, life admin etc) around your cycle to make the most out of your fluid nature.